Mom Cheat Day

There are times when you can do everything right and on time and you still feel like you are going in circles. The global Pandemic has taken its toll on my life. I have been going through hoops, trying to get the services and the education my son needs. Aside from the little I know about Speech and OT, my son hasn’t received any services since the start of the lock down. We have signed up and have been approved for OPWDD services but what good is that right now. Nothing is open, no home services are available and my son is regressing. We worked so hard to get where we were and now I feel like we have to start all over again. My insurance has denied speech and OT services even after evaluators have been to my home and seen how much he needs them. I don’t understand how you can deny a child speech when they are non verbal. No Speech or OT from the school right now, but you can apply for an RSA. RSA? Every time I hear random letters from the alphabet all I think is “Great more paperwork and phone calls.” I don’t understand how any of this works and I’m so done, right now.

I wish there was some system in place for parents to do all of this at once. I can’t even remember all the steps I had to go through just to get no where. If your kid has Autism or any special need for that matter, you should be able to get these things, without all the hoops and run around. Its exhausting. I don’t understand why all of these systems don’t just work as one to get things done. Why must everything be so difficult. The amount of mental energy it takes to get what your kid deserves is ridiculous. Just when you think, I got this, everything is finally done, BOOM! Now you have to appeal with your insurance company, a company that is fully aware of his diagnosis but you have to explain to them why a non verbal child needs speech.

I just can’t, I can’t do this right now. I’m at the point where I can’t talk to anyone. I just want to curl up in my bed and watch Friends. I don’t want to think about any of this anymore. But that’s impossible, my son needs me to be his voice and I need everyone else to know what he is saying.

But not today. Today Im not making any phone calls. I’m not filling out any forms. I’m not giving any lessons. I’m not doing anything. We will be supporting one of our local restaurants for both lunch and dinner. Because I’m done. That pile of laundry that I still haven’t folded will sit there for another day. Not doing the dishes. The kids want ice cream for breakfast, sure why not. Not arguing with my four year old about all the toys everywhere, she can pick them up tomorrow. The kids want to run around the house, throwing the confetti they found in the closet, everywhere…. I Don’t Care! I’m done for the day. I will make sure they don’t burn the house down or kill each other but other than that, Done.

Sometimes we need to just take a break. So we can rest and refocus. Understanding when to take a break is key to keeping you mentally stable. You can’t always be 100% motivated and ready to go, to take on everyone. Sometimes you just need to sit and do nothing. And that’s OK. Ideally, a break would mean away from the kids as well, but that’s not even possible right now. So take a break from everything else. Take a break from being the Teacher, Nurse, Cook, Maid, and just be the laid back, this is none of my business, babysitter that you would never hire. You can’t stop being mom, but you can be the worlds laziest mom today.

My super mom cape is in the closet and my cozy bath robe has taken its place. Netflix has irresponsibly removed Friends but it’s ok because Once Upon a Time is on DisneyPlus yay!! I put my headphones on and I am present but my mind is non functional. My basement is perfect for this. The kids play, destroy, scream and it’s fine because that’s none of my business today. Unfortunately time flies when you’re having fun. The day goes by so quickly, so don’t stress about anything. Just eat whatever comfort food you love and do something that doesn’t require thinking.

So that tomorrow you can have the energy to take on the next set of hoops, life has set up for you.

Have yourself a Mom Cheat Day! You deserve it!!!!